| 11 JULY |
[11 Jul 2008|01:37pm] |
Soooo I was wondering what you have to do to get on the cover of Teen Witch. I think I'm a pretty fine-lookin BACHELOR so why wouldn't the ladies want to look at my face and sigh a lot or whatever it is that people who read Teen Witch do? YEAH, that would be fly. So do you think I have to write them an owl or something?
Dear Teen Witch,
Yo, what up! My name's Jack Sloper and I was wondering if you could put me on the cover of your next issue. I'm tall dark and handsome, and I can cook. Who doesn't love a MAN WHO CAN COOK???
Sincerely,
Jack Sloper
What do you think???
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| 17 JUNE! |
[17 Jun 2008|03:22pm] |
OH SHITE! I tried to go to work today because even though I'm sixteen I remembered that I'm on for lunch and now that it's the summer we have the lunch rush and so I went to the kitchen and THEY MADE ME WASH DISHES!! That is so fucking unfair! I AM A REALLY GOOD CHEF AND I HAD TO WASH DISHES BECAUSE I'M ONLY SIXTEEN!!
I was so mad so I went back to my flat and I punched a hole in my wall and I think I'll have to owl my dad and ask him to help me pay for it to have it fixed up because dishwashers don't make that much money. BEING SIXTEEN IS NOT AS FLY AS I REMEMBER.
I'm also having a little problem because I forgot there were so many fine ladies around here. So since I have this flat all to myself I think we should have a PARTY! Because our parents won't be here to catch us! Yeah? Yeah? Who's down???
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[03 Jun 2008|05:46pm] |
YO when did it get to be JUNE already? I don't wanna go to work anymore cos it's so bloody hot in the kitchen now. But I made the best sauce EVER last night so I guess I have to go or else no one will get to eat the really damn good food I make.
I need to go on holiday to Manchester though. Can it be called going on holiday if it's just to see my family? Cos it's not like they live anywhere EXOTIC. I also need a fine lady to make this summer HOT. Any takers???
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[19 May 2008|05:55pm] |
Yo. I am one fine lady. You're all gonna be so jealous. BUT I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN OH MY GOD is this what it's really like being a woman? And I have nothing to wear and I can't even go to work today because my hands are too small to cook for the dinner rush. I JUST WANT SOME CHOCOLATE. OR MAYBE A HUG.
Wouldn't it be SO FLY to shag a bird while you're a bird?
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| THREE |
[29 Apr 2008|11:14pm] |
YO, CALLIOPE
I am making you dinner okay?? Because you're a HERO!! What do you like? Does it matter? I can either SURPRISE you or you can let me make you your favourite, yeah? Whatever I make it's gonna be fly! And I got one of my homies at work to teach me about wines so I will even pair it with something that has a nice...whatever's nice about wines.
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| TWO |
[19 Apr 2008|07:32pm] |
MY HAIR IS SO FLY!!!!!
I look like. I don't know!! I look LEE JORDAN! Except I'm still white. I guess you can't have everything...
Too bad I have off tonight because I would look so fly in a hairnet.
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| ONE |
[07 Apr 2008|05:43pm] |
YOOOOO! What's UP??? Just moved in and I got these fuckin' NUTTERS, they're so WHACK, outside my flat and I gotta write this SO fast because the dinner rush is gonna come in soon and
I don't want to
burn myself
FUCK
note to self: don't write and cook at the same time
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